The Lighter Side:Part 1
(Was this a ghost?!?!?!?) This old Indian man kept knocking, so the driver
said "well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!"
So the other Indian rolled his window down part way and said, scared out
of his wits, "What do you want???" The old Indian softly replied,
"you have any tobacco?"
The passenger Indian, terrified, looked at the driver Indian and said,
"He wants tobacco!" "Well offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!"
the driver replies. So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old
man a cigarette and yells "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window
in terror. Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they start
laughing again, and the passenger Indian says, "What do you think of
that?" The driver says, "I don't know? How could that be? I am
Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock on the window and there is
the old Indian man again. "aaaaaaaaaaaaa, there he is again!",
the passenger Indian yells. "Well see what he wants now!" yells
back the driver. He rolls down the window a little ways and shakely says
"Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old Indian quietly
asks.The driver throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the
window and yells, "STEP ON IT!" They are now going about 100 miles
an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen
and heard, when all of a sudden again there is more knocking! "Oh my
......! HE'S BACK!"
He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
in stark fear. The
TwistedHumor.com Joke of the Day
St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, "You brought pavement?"
There was a guy named Chris in a bar one night who got really, really, drunk, I mean really, really , really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. Chris stumbled over to the nun and punched her hard in the face. Well, the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything, Chris punched her again. This time she fell down and Chris stumbled over to her and kicked her inthe butt, then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much. Then Chris stumbled over to her and said..................................
"Not very tough tonight, are you, Batman?"
Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became very thick and hard. He could step on a tack and never even feel it. And even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. But he was an exceptionally spiritual person and that got him through.But when he did eat, it was often heavily laced with curry and other strong spices. So, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath. Thus he became widely known as a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
A Tiny Church In Florida
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Titusville,
Florida, got up early and went to the local church. Before the services
started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their
lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the
church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling
each other in
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 43 years."
| Captain Bravo|
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man's man who
showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas,
a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic.Captain Bravo
bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt.The First Mate quickly retrieved the
captain's red shirt and while wearing the bright frock he led his mates
into battle and defeated the pirates. Later on, the lookout again spotted
not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt
and once again vanquished the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around
on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the
captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"
The captain replied, "If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will
not show my blood,and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid."
All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly
man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout once again spotted
not one,not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all
stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual reply.
Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against
his mighty sailing ship and, without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get
me my brown pants!!"
WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS!
This is blatantly untrue!
The money that this organization collects is used to fund various
This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Canada
FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!